I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
