rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize