so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
