his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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