Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
