You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
