ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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