you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
