heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
