So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Randomize
