tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
