There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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