Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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