So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize