My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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