Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I am one with the molecules
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
