Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
