He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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