The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize
