In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
