I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
What a dumb baby whore.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You're a waste of cheezeits
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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