The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
