I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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