i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize