dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
