Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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