whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
