I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
