lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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