the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I see more hoeing in ur future
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