waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
