love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
