I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
