he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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