8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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