I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Is it because I queefed?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
