I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
there is glitter all over my balls
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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