I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
