I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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