Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Randomize
