you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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