dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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