gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
