And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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