There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
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