i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
