DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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