Well douche your snatch and let's go!
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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