all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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