Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
