Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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