Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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