I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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