lets start a swedish sibling band together
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
being pregnant is like rehab
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
