home. puking in laundry basket.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
So squirting runs in the family.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm determined to sit on that face.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
