i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Do you still have your period?
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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