My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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