Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
