dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I can't turn off my feet"
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
