Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
My ATM looks so different sober.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
